I have the privilege of engaging in one of the most challenging relationships of my life. It was as if the Universe was waiting for me to “get ready” before delivering this fine human into my experience.
I’ve grown used to being someone’s flash fiction piece or short story. A lot of the time they were mine. It was all I could handle. I was proficient at the short story and most excellent at establishing a perfect beginning, middle and end because safety first!
Magical things are happening. I am unabashedly letting love in. Not just teeny bits here and there, but letting it rush in like an avalanche cascading down a mountain.
And I feel completely unapologetic about it.
As we were leaving a bar in the middle of the afternoon I turned to my friend, a barista I had met shortly after moving to a new city and asked, “May I kiss you?”
It's been one of my dreams to produce an erotic literature event where authors can entertain a loving, accepting audience and now....it's happening!!!
I had been fantasizing about coming home from work and diving into some writing, or start a new drawing. It was all I could think about while I went about the mundane activities of retail waiting for the clock to strike the magic time where I was free to go.
“Why did you do it? How could you let him finger you? And Paul* too?” My mother’s shrill voice pierced my eardrums.
I was on the couch, mute. My body faced forward with my head craned to the right, giving her the eye contact she demanded. My father, silent and expressionless was in my peripheral vision. I felt like a prisoner being interrogated.
She falls in love at the most inconvenient times. When she’s got her shit together and feeling solid in who she is and she’s blissfully content being alone, that’s when the Universe wants to play games.
He pushed me against the wall in my living room and kissed me with more passion than I had experienced in my twenty six years. I returned his intensity with eagerness, my arms wrapped around his neck, his hands all over me.
As a teenager, I learned that my display of affection was “too much”, and that I loved “too hard”. I was told that the fondness I bestowed on my first love made people “uncomfortable”. I didn’t know who these “people” were, or if it was the messenger herself who felt this, but what I heard was “You’re expression is wrong.”